It’s a slow process, keep going.
When started this journey it wasn’t about losing weight or my body changing. This journey began because I wanted to be healthy and happy. The last few days I have been feeling different. Not happy, nor healthy I have been focusing on what I lack not on what I have gained.
I needed some time to sort it out so as I laid in bed I quieted my mind and asked myself how am I feeling, why is it different, and what set me off. I realized I feel unsatisfied, I want results now, I want to be smaller, fit in smaller clothes, and be where I once was. This was tough for me to just be vulnerable and realize that maybe I need to up my mental health a bit. Honestly, I feel shameful I have been working so hard and staying positive and suddenly I chose to let my coats get to me.
The self esteem coat is a duzy for me. This coat tells me “Your not beautiful, and you have to look good for them to like you, no one will love you looking like that.”. Is this truth, no and the sad thing is that I believed it for so long I began to wear it. The comparing game is never ending and it hurts. So, here I am saying God tells me I’m beautiful and loves me unconditionally, how can what that coat says be true. I cannot go through this life believing these lies and hiding from the truth. I am a beautiful creation from God, I am loved by him and the people in my life, people love me for who I am inside and I love myself today, yesterday, and forever.
I have been struggling here. I keep saying that I want to do more but I don’t. So tomorrow I’m doing it! I am making the time to be at the gym longer and longer extend my workout. Tomorrow I will be doing my usual biking and doing a body workout circuit also! Here is my workout report!
Have a blessed, healthy and happy day!